i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I deserve this hangover.
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