at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
