there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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