if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
