so explain again why im purple
no
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
