You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
