apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
