She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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