Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
