At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Someone shit on the floor
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
