I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
