I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
