I could have mohawked her pubes.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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