Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The power of my boobs compel you
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
