Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
