So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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