Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
