i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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