Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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