i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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