her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So gin and wine won't be happening again
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
