you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
