She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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