why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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