we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
