well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
