i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
