: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
