just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
