if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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