You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
