you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
