i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
