No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
