I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
