my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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