Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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