So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
