I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
