Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
