Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
