I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
