so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
