he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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