i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
