what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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