Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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