yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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