So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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