New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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