omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
