if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
