doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
