Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
