I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
third nipple confirmed
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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